The season of waiting
I wonder since when time has gone past faster than it has used to
be. It has almost reached the end of October and this week Right is going to
take full commitment to walk with God and get baptized this week, I am feeling
the mix of excitements, joy and pressure. Yes, it is like a marriage vow, for
better or worse in life, you stand by strong and firm to the one you choose,
and I have chosen God to be with me. In fact, He has always been with me,
waiting for me.
The other day I was reading this article called “The season of
waiting” which actually gave me some guidance about what I should be doing in
my life. I found this article great which I also shared with Left’s besties as
well. They are wonderful God’s followers. Here are a few things that I feel
like reminding of myself every day, especially when life has got in the way,
and you feel like giving up.
So here is goes directly from the article:
1) Don't Try to Do Life Alone
We often have time where we struggle in life, self- absorbing in
pity, wondering why I am the one suffering this. The author actually
shared the personal experiences: “Although meaningful relationships
were the one thing I longed for above anything else, I was terrified of being
rejected. And so I became known as the girl who never admitted a need, never
burdened anyone with my problems. If there were tears to be cried, I cried them
behind closed doors. If there were hurts and fears to be dealt with, I waited
until no one else was around. I was the one everyone came to with their
problems, but rarely would I risk letting them see the wounds in my own heart.”
I feel that God has spoken to me via those articles, as those are
exactly written for me. After the break with Left, I tried to smile and try to
occupy myself with work and studies, pretending like nothing really happened
even though it still hurts inside, even though I know I still preserve a spot
for him in my heart. So many times, I dreamt of holding his hands,feeling the
warmth of his hugs but then woke up crying in tears back in reality. A hug can
easily make me burst into tears. It was painful, slow and scary if I did
not have God with me through those nights.
But “God whispers when you are in joy and shouts to you when you
are in pain”, this is exactly how I feel right now. God did not let me stand
alone, this is a process He designed for me as He is doing some of his most
powerful work on me. If it's growth, freedom, maturity, wholeness, and
restoration we're after. Every prayer I gave myself to Him, He listened, He
responded, and He guided me, and told me that I am not alone. I gave my burdens
and suffering to him, He has comforted me and gave me strengths and power when
trouble comes. Time spent with God in my deepest prayer is definitely worth it,
as He let me feel how great His love is for us and that I am not alone. Without
Him, I was not able to smile again and stand strong.
2) Look Back at What God Has Done
The work of God is everlasting and always continuing, if you open
your heart and soul to fil yourself full with Holy Spirit and remain a humble
and a grateful heart. God has transformed me in many ways, and it is amazing to
see how far you have progressed.
And I guess this is one of the great thing why God has kept me
writing this blog, to write down and always remember the wonderful things He
has done in us, because:
“It's so easy to lose perspective in a long period of waiting, but
looking back and seeing God's faithfulness gives me the courage I need to keep
hanging on. If he's already brought me this far, why should I doubt that he'll
keep leading me in the future? Why should I think he's not going to finish the
work he started? I'm like the Israelites wandering around in the desert, so
quickly forgetting how God led them out of Egypt and across the Red Sea, giving
them manna to eat and water to drink and rescuing them from their enemies. But
I don't want to lose sight of everything he's done, even though right now
the next thing seems so far away.”
3) Figure Out What Makes You Come Alive
This is in fact one of the biggest messages God wanted me to
focus, to figure out what my life purpose is. At work, our manager brought up a
concept of Ikigai and invited us to brainstorm the meanings of our life and
what keeps us up every morning. The first thing that I wrote down was God
without any hesitation, but I struggled to figure out what my passion is and what my
profession would be in order to fulfill my life goal which is to be like Christ
and walk in the light of Him. This got me in quite deep thinking for a while,
partially I always feel like there is some kind of unknown power filling me up
with energy and optimism, making the person who I am now, but yet for many
years, I wonderful why I was born like this, if there was a reason for this?
And then lately I have been having this strong interest in ministry teaching.
As I am still trying to figure my life puzzle pieces, God has slowly
enlightened and left me with a clue, that teaching his words through the power
of education is the way for me....
4) Learn to Rest
I feel that this is still something I need to improve on, I just
fear that if I stopped, then I will let sadness and emotions taken over me. But
then I realised that God would like me to rest, just so my heart can come
alive. Because "as long as there's life in my heart, I know I can keep
waiting and trusting and hoping for the day when God will bring answers to the
deeper questions I'm wrestling with." If God already lives in me, I should
have no fear of falling back into sadness when I am at rest, because when I am
with Him, I am not alone, and He will not let me fall. And Left also said that
he would like to see a Happy, cheerful, healthy Right not consumed by work and
pressure, but who lives with Christ and do whatever that pleases him. And if I
cannot love my body and set it to rest when it needs to be, how can I continue
desiring for God's blessings and others' love for me?
I pray that God can help me stay strong and faithful to His words,
and so I will not be able to fall and lose faith and hope when troubles come in
life.
In Jesus’s name,
We pray
