Peace and Joy

Left's 18th birthday is just 10 mins away...

Put faith in God and let Him take Control

Put faith in God and let Him take Control

For the past few weeks, I have been battling against my strong emotions that are burning in my heart. Yes, indeed, I missed Left so much so much that it burns me. The feelings have overwhelmed me many nights and days where I felt like walking with no soul. :( I felt like that my heart was pierced with millions of needles and broken glasses, and the numbers kept adding on. Apparently, Left seemed to have a friend from Law where she and him shared good vibes. That brought me straight down into the deepest depression and sadness. I was jealous, but hopeless, as I have set him free.

Then I realised that this is not what God wanted me to dwell on. Feeling depressed and insecure was not the right direction, as negativity does not bring happiness and calmness. This is when I turned to God. I was hopeless and lost and then I prayed to God for his guidance, and He did not forget me. He reminded me of the mistake I made in the past, where I put Left as my idol, my whole world, so then when I felt those ugly human emotions, they took over me so easily. 

So last night, I knelt down at my bed and prayed deeply. In fact, I have been praying for a long time to seek for guidance.  Before I wasn’t sure whether God would notice my prayer,but I just have a feeling that He will. And the truth is, He did not forget about us. In the dream, He sent down Left to tell me that he was drawn by my goodness, my compassion, my strength and prays that I can continue remaining kind and let my compassionate nature shine. I must put all my trust in God, I must trust Left. I cannot let my insecurity and those emotions to top over me, and the only way to do this is to be faithful to God, and entrust Him with my whole life.  No matter what results are at the end of three years, I believe God will bless us with maturity and growth. God will never leave with us alone, he is the anchor of my soul and happiness, and I have come to realise that. And when the time comes, we will be able to treat the one with grace and love.

God has been watching over us from the very beginning because He loved us so much and so dearly. I remember how earlier Left and me received the quote: “Keep your heads up in the right direction and you don’t need to worry about your feet”., He has a great plan for both of us and that every decision we made in life does not come with nothing, and every challenge and breakdown is to draw us closer to God. He is always there, seek him for guidance and put your whole faith in Him.

Love is kind, love is patient. It does not envy. I remember reading this from the wall in Left’s room. I should focus on God, I must “Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD.” Psalm 31:24 

In Jesus's name, we pray :]